by Suzanne L Beenackers/ LS Harteveld
The rule of thumb is that Joy, more commonly known as Happiness, is not a result of your circumstances, but an attitude towards whatever happens. Yet this bypasses an important phenomenon: in a lot of cases we are directly responsible for creating the bad stuff happening to us. We created it because were uncomfortable with our happiness. This is called The Upper Limit.
An upper limit is your maximum level of happiness, money, love, power, before your start feeling uncomfortable and start to limit or sabotage yourself. The moment you get uncomfortable with your level of joy, love, abundance, you start to behave, think and believe in a way to take it down, or plateau. This sabotage comes in a few (only few!) different forms.
This is the most common and effective way to ruin your peace of mind.
This is refusing to let good things in. For example not being able to accept a compliment.
Criticism, Blame and Squabbling
To focus on what others do wrongly.
Getting sick and getting hurt
Through migraines, accidents, illnesses etceteras you punish yourself for something (for example, for being successful!), you prevent having to do something that you resist or protect yourself from feeling something you don’t want to feel.
If this fourth one makes you uncomfortable or angry, I invite you to focus on the first three, which are less emotionally charged.
For me this fourth one is an important motivator to always take full responsibility for both my problems as well as my happiness.
This blogpost is based on the book The Big Leap. It also gives examples of how our upper limits are often linked to things that happened in childhood, and stories on how you sabotage yourself on your path to make Joy the purpose of your life.
For me the recognition that it was a growth problem, was an eye-opener. Having these types of behaviors spelled out, and recognizing that I too start to worry, or feel anxious, to downsize my own happiness, has been enough to do something about it.
The book gives a mantra which I modified slightly. You can use it anytime you catch yourself sabotaging yourself, destroying your peace of mind, jeopardizing your own health, picking fights.
I expand in abundance, success, and love every day. And inspire others to do the same.
If you like you can use other words such as I expand in health, wealth and love every day… This mantra will lift the spell of whatever upper limit belief is holding you hostage, even without knowing the full details. And it gives you permission to grow and move forward. Joyfully.
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