by Suzanne L.Beenackers / LS Harteveld
Oh the thrill of having a new challenge! A new planning! For the past two days I ve crafted – there really is no other word for it – a June planning (and beyond) that is revolutionary, simple and productive. Yet it doesn’t have any of the typical aspects of a linear planning where you plan what you have to do, should do, or suspect you are supposed to do.
This planning makes room for what you love;
What you love to do.
What you love about yourself.
On everything that you catch yourself doing when nobody is watching, when nobody is paying, and that has about a hundred percent likelihood of being your best work.
I saw a video the other day about a girl who makes her living making *quote* shitty robots! Like robot alarm clocks that slap you out of bed. I m not saying that you have to make a living out of your hobby (for one thing, it leaves you without a hobby 🙂 I m just saying that the thing you love doing most (and that you pour all of your undivided attention to) probably buzzes with life, authenticity and joy. And yes, people pay for that. But most of all: it’s the kind of stuff that’s gold to you.
Originally I thought I would hardcore my June just like I had done May. For the first time in my life my business was thriving, and this was no coincidence: my yogastudio had received my undivided attention ever since February. In May I got to launch my new program and it became a success. Also, my knee almost fell off. I was far less enthusiastic about that.
I believe injuries are a direct consequence of how you move, how you are. One of the major flaws in physical therapy is since no one ever taught you to walk/move/hop/yoga/walk/run/work-out wrongly, how can you expect someone else to explain how to move correctly? Your motion is a result of your awareness, your consciousness, and your own unique body as you were born with it. Overtime your consciousness/ pattern of movement starts to ingrain in your body, probably straining particular joints or vertebrae. However, the only way out of it, is to change your consciousness. And I personally don’t need a therapist for that. At least not until I gave it my all to solve it myself.
So these last days of May, as I was hobbling around, I wondered: “If I don’t believe in physical causes of my knee problem, then why do I have an injured knee?”
Immediately the answer “came”. I still feel like Moses and the burning bush when I engage in urban contemporary wizardry like that, but okay. The answer was: “Because you are standing on one leg.”
Oh! That was familiar.
The leg I had been standing on for months was called M Yoga, and all the workout had made it a pillar of strength. I immediately realized that the troubled knee was not overburdened (symbolizing my business), but underused and neglected. My healthy leg was M Yoga, and the other leg was well, the rest of me. Everything that I didn’t do in May. It was everything I had withdrawn my consciousness from and sacrificed in order to put everything on the standing leg, which was my business.
I couldn’t afford to let June be a rerun of May. Not if I placed any value to the use of both of my legs.
So that’s when I dived in my new planning assignment: plan my free time, my joy, my writing. And dissect with surgical precision the activities that create this rushed business woman feeling. I wanted to sustain my business, but I couldn’t have my head up my Inbox and Facebookpage twenty-four seven.
My new planning leaves a maximum of two hours a day when I m on Facebook and in my email box. Other business activities do not contribute to the anxiety. Just the interactive part. Not that this is difficult, or that I don’t appreciate it: I get the best ideas on Facebook, and my email box is filled with beautiful newsletters and sweet emails. There is nothing negative about it. It’s just that I know for sure, that’s what costing too much energy. Energy and time I need for my “other leg activities”.
I call the blogging and the banking and the communication and all activities that are not directly teaching or prepping classes, The Avery Hours. After the escort that inspired me to become a good business woman. I’m giving Avery her Union hours and don’t let her work crazy times anymore.
My new planning has the following elements:
incl blogpost yoga and all online communication 11 hours
prep classes & creating Baby M videos 8 hours
teaching 17 hours
other offline studio duties 1,75 hours
That’s a workweek of 38 hours and 15 minutes. And its 15 hours less than I worked last week.
Becoming Anais Nin
For the past 100 days I have been on a challenge for my LS Harteveld persona. I created a blog to document this quest to physically heal myself (my menstruation cycle and my teeth) with a book called The Sexual Teachings of The White Tigress. But because my “vision” of this White Tigress, was actually a savvy business woman slash escort Avery Moore, I became her. And I didn’t really get to the sexual healing part. I had bypassed all sexual teachings.
So now I was going to plan June. It was the end of my 100 Day White Tigress challenge, and I was convinced that if The White Tigress had been a real education I would have flunked the exam. I considered redoing the 100 day White Tigress, starting with June. But that didn’t seem such a good idea. I needed something new for the second leg! For the erotica writer in me, who had stayed dormant. My White Tigress blog tells how writing erotica was key to my sexuality, and allowed me to grow, to endure, to sustain, to blossom. If half of my soul was yoga teacher, the other was erotica writer. I knew it, I just didn’t like it. It felt vulnerable and pitiful at the same time. Kind of like having a knee injury. Yes: it felt exactly as having a knee injury 😀
On my White Tigress blog, for the next 100 days, I will embrace the Anais Nin inside of me. The diarist. The erotica writer. Anais couldn’t give in fully and censored her diaries heavily, and the erotica wasn’t published until after she died.
For the next 100 days I’ll pick it up where she left off, and write honestly and without holding back, celebrating the freedom of today for both of us. And probably healing my knee, my teeth and all my eggs in the process 😀
Work with me
I m using a card deck Crazy Sexy Love Notes to write a new blogpost every week. Sign up for this blog, and you will receive these babies weekly.
You can also subscribe to my yoga videos on YouTube or come to my classes at my private studio M Yoga Nijmegen. The May offer expires today, so be quick 😀 If you read this too late please email me the code WhiteTigress and I’ll see what I can do for you 😉